Catching Consciousness

Category: Soul-of-Thought Revival/ Recycled Visions

Journal: Dream Journal

Dates: 4-7-11 and 1-2-07

Catching Consciousness

by Felina Lune Kavi

4-7-11

My subconscious is a vast body of water. It contains everything I know and everything yet to be imagined. Sometimes knowledge is buried deep...and sometimes it resurfaces, again and again, taking concrete form and creating new images.

Other times it evaporates into the clouds of memory, then falls upon me so that I might catch it before it drops into that sea of mystery. When I retain enough of it, it pools in my hands and flows from my fingertips so that I may record it in writing and voice it in truth.

But while I am sleeping...everything freezes...and dreams fall upon me like snowflakes. Intricate knowledge contained in delicate form. As one closes in, I can see the unique beauty of that watery messenger, closer and closer still...until I am awakened.

Upon awakening, the dream dissolves into the warm whites of my opened eyes. The momentary crystals melt again into the mystery of my subconscious sea.

Dreams in Snowflakes

by Felina Lune Kavi

1-2-07

closing in,

yesterday's images recycled

into clear crystal intricacy

like snowflakes falling

into eyes.

where there is no asleep

and no awake,

the time is fixed

on revealing answers sought

in depth.

closer still,

one perfect story

told in riddles

and seen in phrases

cold as ice.

see it frozen,

see it falling,

know exactly what it means.

watch the wonder,

watch the candor,

cold and clear before your eyes.

just as soon as the answer hits,

the eyes awaken in a flash.

the snowflake dream

falls into warm whites,

melts away like memory...

what was found is lost.

States of Alyrica: From Seed to Sprout

Category: Recycled Poetry/Variations on a Theme

Journal: Earth Mother

Dates: 2005-2007, 2011

States of Alyrica: In the Womb

by Felina Lune Kavi

11-7-05

muffled music

of a world outside

where voices connect

and bodies touch.

there is something beyond

the comfort of these walls.

there is something

outside of myself.

tangled noises,

mangled in mystery,

disturb the peace

but awaken the mind.

there is everything else

besides what is here.

there is everything

waiting for me.

Baby Hands

by Felina Lune Kavi

5-16-06

these are my hands.

when i was a newborn,

Grandma warned Mom

i would scratch my face

with these nails.

Mom and Dad dressed me

in pink and purple potato-sacks

with built-in mittens.

i didn't see these things

for a while

unless i was naked or bathing.

later i grew out of those clothes

and was introduced

to mittenless shirts

and footless pants,

and re-introduced to these hands

and those feet.

they're wiggly and free

and i watch and wonder

at them.

now i can

pull out a pacifier,

hold on to a finger,

pet a kitty,

fit a fist in my mouth,

and grasp a spit-rag

like i can grasp

the significance

of why i have

these hands.

Daughter

by Felina Lune Kavi

4-10-07

like my own parents,

your father and i

will give everything we have

for you to grow happy, healthy, and sound--

rise up from solid ground.

give you everything you need

to know the beat of your own drum

and walk with pride from where you've come

toward choices we can't even predict.

no matter what,

i fear you are your mother's daughter.

no matter what,

the possibility is there

that you will reject these things we give

and live like tomorrow has no promise

like foundations can't be trusted

and good intentions misunderstand you.

your hands are like mine,

searching the scenery

for those things you're not allowed to have--

like mysteries

my parents kept hidden from my knowledge,

too young to understand

the complexity of protection.

you want to taste the world

with your own tongue--

placing unknown objects in your mouth,

though some are far too big to swallow.

and i swoop in with a panic--

pushing fingers through pursed lips,

gripping the danger from your teeth

while you bite the hand that feeds you.

and i finally understand

how my own parents

could stomach my angry resentment

and the words that meant to bite...

when i would fight against

a sheltered life.

no matter what,

like my own parents,

your father and i

will fight whatever fight

to keep you alive.

She Strikes the Seventh, Smiling Sweetly

by Felina Lune Kavi

4-3-11

Such a sensible soul,

But a strange one too…

Smiling sweetly as she strikes the seventh.

Lyra, Lyra…

Quite contrary…

Blooming wild, but up toward the heavens.

Little Raven girl

Always talking now…

Singing pictures and asking the answers.

Such pure wisdom

Disguised playfully…

Sacred stone in the heart of a dancer.

She loves the world,

And she means it too…

Because no one has ever betrayed her.

Still she embraces life

As free as it comes…

Saving all the hard lessons for later.

The Yule Fairy (part two)

Category: Family Fairy Tales

Journal: Thirteen-Story Building

Date: 12-21-2009

Ivy Twinklesparkle, like all air fairies who could harness the power of the sun, flew at the speed of light. It did not take her long to get anywhere. In the blink of an eye, the little fairy was at the North Pole. She saw a castle made of ice and knocked a door-knocker that was in the shape of a green man made of leaves. She giggled as the bells jingled from the wreath above. The door opened and a young fairy page peeked out at her. He thought Ivy was very beautiful, with her long blond hair and ice blue eyes, so he blushed before he could say anything.

"Come in, you must be Ivy." He guided her in. "My name is Spruce Sprywrite. I am an earth fairy and page to the Holly King and the Evergreen Queen. I will let them know you are here. Please wait here in the Great Hall."

Ivy watched Spruce zip on ice skates through a tiny crack in the large doors at the end of the room. The Great Hall was filled with so many twinkling and sparkling things that Ivy felt welcome and cozy right away. There were wrapped candies in silver bowls, tall evergreen trees decorated with shiny ornaments, and all along the walls were magic snowflakes that reflected the smiling faces of all of the children in the world. Ivy floated around the walls looking at all the smiling children, when she came across the face of the little girl she had seen when she landed on Earth. Under the face of this happy little girl was her name, Alyrica.

The big doors flew open then and a twinkling of music flooded into the Great Hall. Spruce skated back to her quickly and circled around her three times before he stopped in front of her, smiling. His green eyes sparkled like emeralds. She giggled.

"The Holly King and The Evergreen Queen welcome you into the heart of their home." Spruce said as he motioned toward the room beyond the doors.

"Thank you, Spruce," Ivy said and started to fly off.

Spruce caught up with her and handed her an envelope. "It was nice to meet you, Ivy."

Then he skated off the other way. Inside the envelope was a card. The cover of the card had a glittery snowflake on it. Inside the card, there was a tiny silver pen attached. Spruce had written 'Have a Merry Solstice, Ivy. I hope to see you again before Yule is over! Love and Gratitude, Spruce Sprywrite.' Ivy thought this was very nice of Spruce.

As she flew closer to the big doors, she noticed the room was full of colorful lights. When she entered, she saw two thrones near a fireplace. On the silver throne, there sat a redheaded woman in a long green dress who smiled at Ivy. On the golden throne, there was a large and jolly old man in a red suit.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! It's Ivy Twinklesparkle!" He said in a friendly, booming voice. "Welcome to the North Pole and to our home!"

"Thank you both very much!" Ivy curtsied.

"I am Santa Nicholas Claus, the Holly King." Said the King.

"And I am Mrs. Eve Claus, the Evergreen Queen." Said the Queen.

"It's nice to meet you both. Tapper the bunny told me to ask you about this." Ivy said as she spread some sundust into the air in front of them.

"You are the newest Yule Fairy, little one." The Holly King beamed. "Every nine years, another is born so that the Yule Fairies can retire here. Their kingdom is in the east wing of our castle. But before I introduce you to the Yule Fairies of the past, I would like to tell you about what we do in my workshop first. Please, come with me."

Ivy followed him into another room. There was a frenzy of activity! There were elves skating around quickly and making things. One of them, who appeared to be the oldest, approached the door and greeted her.

"Welcome to Santa's Workshop! I am Alfred the Elder Elf. I manage the toy-making business here at the North Pole Castle. We are twelve elves who are chosen from all across the country to help Santa create toys for the world's children during their winter holidays. There's Elfie, Sami, Carol, Alpine, Shay, Eldon, Holly, Luca, Yuliana, Shep, and Star."

"Happy Holidays!" They shouted cheerfully, taking only a split-second break before going back to work.

"It's nice to meet you all! I'm Ivy Twinklesparkle."

"The Yule Fairy has arrived!" Alfred exclaimed and everyone cheered.

"Keep up the good work, friends." The Holly King said and guided Ivy on through another hallway. "You see, Ivy, there are many holidays throughout the world that happen during the winter and we all work together to make them the best they can be for everyone, especially the children. As Yule Fairy, you play a major role in everything we do. Not only do you do most of the deliveries, but your sundust also allows our nine reindeer and my sleigh to fly throughout the night on what many people in the world call Christmas Eve. Much like the Winter Solstice and the rest of the twelve days of Yule, Christmas is a time for family and friends to enjoy each other's warmth and love while the Northern Hemisphere is at its coldest. Once Yule begins, the days gradually start to get longer as the Sun is out more. This whole season is a time for rejoicing in the miracle of life. People do this in many different ways. On the Southern Hemisphere, the seasons are opposite...but these holidays are still celebrated there too. All of us here at the North Pole do our best to give what we can to the animals and children of the Earth to spread peace and joy to all."

"I'm honored to be a part of it!" Ivy twinkled. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome, and thank you! Now let me introduce you to the Yule Fairies. We still have a few things to do before you begin your journey this Yule." The jolly man said as they reached another door.

He opened it and there was a crisp gust of wind from outside. Ivy saw the largest, most breathtaking evergreen tree decorated in the most beautiful icicles and crystals she had ever seen. She could not take her eyes off of it.

"This is the Yule Tree. It is the oldest and most magical tree in the world. The Yule Fairies and their families rule the kingdom within these branches, but you will rule once the twelve days of Yule have passed this year. The current fairy queen is Natalie Tinselwind. One moment and I will summon her."

The Holly King stood for a moment, silently admiring the Yule Tree. "I am an old friend to this tree." He said. Then the Holly King pulled a green pouch from his pocket and opened it. He took out some silver tinsel and scattered it into the air in front of the tree. The wind picked it up and spread the tinsel evenly upon the branches. The Ivy noticed it wasn't just a gust of wind, it was another air fairy like her.

The King bowed. "Queen Natalie, this is our newest Yule Fairy, Ivy Twinklesparkle."

The Fairy Queen flew down softly, like a snowflake, to greet Ivy. Her silver blue gown and long white hair floated with the breeze. Her skin was darker than Ivy's skin, but they had the came ice blue eyes. Ivy could see she was very beautiful.

"Welcome, Yule Fairy." She said with a soft smile. "Let me show you our kingdom."

"I will see you again later, fairy friends." They waved to the Holly King as he winked and went inside.

The Yule Fairy (part one)

This is the first part of a story I began for Alyrica last year...finishing it this year. Breaking the mold of only writing on Wednesday because, well, it's Yule...

Category: Family Fairy Tales

Journal: Thirteen-Story Building

Date: 12-21-2009

The Yule Fairy

by Felina Lune Kavi

Once upon a December, a tiny air fairy was born during a solstice snowstorm and her name was Ivy Twinklesparkle. She floated down to earth on a snowflake. She loved snow, ice, frost, and wind…but her favorite thing was light. As her snowflake fell closer to a city, she could see so many lights of all different colors and shapes. Her snowflake landed on a blue one that was part of a display outside of a home in the heart of the city. The blue light was so warm on that longest night, that the snowflake melted.

Ivy flew to the nearest window to look inside. There she saw a little girl and her parents wrapping lights and garland around a tree in their living room while a happy cat was batting a glittery bow across the floor. When the little girl smiled, her blue eyes twinkled. This made Ivy very happy.

She watched the family decorate their home. There were candles, wreaths, ornaments, lights, garlands, stockings, and presents…all of them shining and sparkling as if to welcome the sun. Then Ivy heard something scampering across the snow below the window. It was a chubby little bunny trying to get her attention.

“Are you the new Yule Fairy?” The bunny asked her.

“Me?” Ivy asked, though she didn’t see any other fairies around. “I don’t know. What’s a Yule Fairy?”

The bunny could barely contain his excitement. He began hopping back and forth as he explained. “The Yule Fairy brings solstice sundust to our Earth during the twelve days of Yule. She sprinkles the snowflakes and everything with it! Every nine years, the Yule Fairy retires and another one is born. All of the animals help to find her by seeing which fairy makes the sundust. The Yule Fairy is a great friend to us animals because her sundust catches light and warms the snow into water. When the snow melts and the Sun shines stronger, that’s when Spring returns. We’re very grateful to the Yule Fairy for this so we animals help her in any way we can. She also gives gifts of food to all the animals on the longest night of the year, the Winter Solstice, to show her love and gratitude. We heard there was going to be a new fairy born this Solstice who would possess the power to create and use solstice sundust. It’s a very rare talent.”

“Wow!” Ivy smiled. “How does the Yule Fairy create sundust?”

“I don’t know, but it comes out of her fingertips!” The bunny’s eyes were wide with wonder.

Ivy shook her fingertips but nothing happened. “Am I doing it right?”

“All you do is point them at whatever you want to shower with sundust. Oh! Oh yeah, I almost forgot! The Yule Fairy always says something while she’s doing this.”

“What does she say?”

“It’s different with every Yule Fairy. The last one always said ‘Tinselwind!’ but I’ve heard that some have said ‘Flickerfly!’ or ‘Glitterglow!’ too. I wonder what your magic word is.”

Ivy tried a few different words, but none of them worked. Then she tried the three words the bunny had mentioned, and none of them worked either. Finally, she decided to try her last name.

“Twinklesparkle!” Ivy said with a smile.

The bunny saw the little fairy’s eyes twinkle and suddenly the snow on the ground was covered in tiny sparkles. “You did it! You’re her! You’re the Yule Fairy!”

“I’m the Yule Fairy!” She fluttered her wings with joy. “Thank you so much for your help! What is your name?”

“My name is Tapper!”

“Nice to meet you, Tapper. My name is Ivy.”

“Welcome to our city, Ivy!” said Tapper. “And I hope you’ll come back very soon, but first you should travel to the North Pole and meet the Holly King. He can explain more about what it means to be the Yule Fairy.”

Ivy kissed Tapper on his nose. “Thank you! I will see you later!”

“Have a safe journey!” Tapper shouted to her as she flew off with a flash.

All is Change

Category: Recycled Visions

Journal: Songbird

Date: 10-26-10

All is Change

by Felina Lune Kavi

All is change.

Welcome, winds!

And yet another story begins.

Time is wise.

Let it be!

Here-now, set your watch to FREE.

Be your dream.

Open eyes!

Read yourself between the lies.

This is love.

Soul of thought!

We are one, though we forgot.

Keep the change.

Truth be told!

We are breaking from the mold.

Find your voice.

Sing your heart!

Know that we are living art.

-->YOU ARE HERE<--

Category: Soul-of-Thought Revival

Journal: *VOICE* ("unthought-like thoughts that are the souls of thought")

Dates: 7-18-05 and 9-8-10

waiting womb


7-18-05

you can wander around lost and searching for something to find you, to make you know yourself for certain...you can do that, wandering forever. 



and you can search outside yourself hoping to find it in the vast but limited world of reality, because the world inside you is unlimited confusion and you can't seem to find yourself there. 



and even when the advice you hear outside tells you to look inside, you don't know where to begin to look.



you know it's been inside you all along, what you're looking for, it's been there waiting for you.



once you find it, or it finds you as it was in my case, your once hazy vision of a world with blurred edges and transitory images comes *SMACK* into focus...and everything is so clear now. everything makes sense, even nonsense. you find a purpose, you find a reason, you find a world you always wished you had but thought it was too far away from where you were...you find yourself. and you know yourself better than you could possibly imagine. better than you could ever explain. and you laugh, remembering how different you were before you knew...how opposite a world was in your view. and you cry, thinking this is the beginning of life, knowing the world before was a womb for the waiting.

Co-creating a World of Love

9-8-10

We are magnets for the experiences we need to heal us into wholeness. Look into the people in your life. Those common experiences and frustrations that bonded you in friendship, love, and understanding...they are a reflection of your own healing path, just as yours is a reflection of theirs. Even the people who irritate but you can't leave them for one reason or another...they, too, represent lessons to learn. And they are learning that same lesson.

The circumstances you find yourself in are always the right ones. Even when you feel the sting of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or the torture of making bad decisions that lead you to bad results...you were meant to find yourself there.

But these outside forces are not what define who we are.

Inside everyone is a battle between fear and love. It really boils down to that, trite as it may sound. Neither can live with the other, and each is overshadowing the other in any given circumstance.

When you act out of fear, you are not yourself...you are what you know you should discard. And guilt seeps in, then, because you know...and everything else that distances ourselves from the source of our strength begins to snowball into an avalanche. And there you are, buried and frozen until love comes again to the rescue...if you let it.

When you act out of love, you are yourself...even if it feels unfamiliar. And just as fear creates fear, love creates love. With love, however, you expand rather than contract. You grow. You learn. You love more. And you inspire others to look with eyes of love. And they grow. They learn. They love more. And they inspire others.

If fear and love were both wildfires...which would you rather watch run rampant in the world? The one that burns and destroys...or the one that purifies and restores?

Iris

Category: Recycled Visions

Journal: Songbird

Date: 9-1-10

Iris

by Felina Lune Kavi

We will be

a lightning storm...

epic sound and light,

a rainstick

and a thunderous drum--

we'll wake the sky at night.

I want to be

the drop of rain

that soaks into your eye,

so you can see

we're one again

when you look into the sky.

You sing the song

that brings the storm

and stirs soft-spoken rain.

Percussion sounds

the symphony;

your voice enchants my name.