The Fantastic Master Felix Fawkes: Nine Months In/ Nine Months Out

The Fantastic Master Felix Fawkes:  Nine Months In/ Nine Months Out

by Felina Lune Kavi

Category:  Soul-of-Thought Revival

Journal:  Earth Mother

Date:  10-1-2015

This is a week late, but I've been taking the time to reflect on the last 9 months of this year that our son has been learning and growing in this world, and the 9 months last year that he had been learning and growing in the world within me while we lived, learned, and grew on the outside.  A lot has changed with the many moons since Felix came into our lives. And since I have spent nearly all of the past 18 months with him, I can tell you (as close to his perspective as one is able to perceive) his journey thus far.

At first, life was warm and watery.  Then I started to hear a lot of ruckus outside of the womb…though sometimes the noises softened and I could hear music, singing, laughing, or make out different voices talking to me.  These people were as fascinating as they were noisy.  I wanted to be noisy too.  I wanted to meet them and learn their language.  I also wanted to teach them a thing or two about noise and silence, I could already tell the difference.  Since I had some time to prepare my own lessons, I kicked around a lot and made myself comfortable. 

Soon enough, I was grown and I decided the end of the Taurus Moon was a good time to make my move from that cozy little nook inside Mama to the home inside the larger universe.  Mama was right about the moon, just as she guessed the exact day my sister was born because of an already apparent Pisces influence in their connection.  She’s good at guessing the right moon for a birth…though I was still able to surprise them all on the birth date.  I thought it would be fitting for a new beginning to coincide with the first day of the year, and I like to make things a little later than expected.  On day one of the year, it would help them out as far as tracking my months to come.  I could tell both of my parents would appreciate the easy math. 

In my first months, I learned how to mimic my family by smiling and babbling.  My neck grew strong quickly from nursing and I was looking around at everything and studying it every day as my eyesight got clearer.  I found the comfort of Mama’s singing, the gentle strength of Daddy’s big hands, and the sweet silliness of my sister’s antics to be very enjoyable.  I met lots of family and friends, all of them smiling and wanting to talk with me and hold me.  Life outside the womb was pretty awesome.  I took it all in and learned how to communicate with everyone in my own ways.

Watching them all, especially my furry siblings, made me want to get moving too.  I started rolling around and grabbing everything I could reach…putting it all in my mouth to see if it would fit or how it tasted. Soon enough, I was able to twist and turn myself all over the place.  Now, I’m able to do what they call ‘the army crawl’.  They seem happy about this, but I can tell Daddy is worried now about all of the possible worst-case scenarios that could happen now that I’m on the move.  He keeps bringing up ‘baby-proofing’.  That sounds like a challenge. 

Now that I am nine months old, I can say ‘Mama’ and ‘Dada’…though my first word was ‘waggle’ (I thought that would be a good one to make them laugh…after all, Alyrica’s first word was ‘Edna’).  I can’t quite say my sister’s name, so I just call her ‘Lala’.  In recent news, I just got my first tooth this week. It made them all very happy…but it made me pretty angry.  My mouth hurts a lot, so I scream about it sometimes so they all know it.  I’m a little over 15 pounds now…a little heavier than our oldest cat, Ani, but still lighter than our fat cats Zenya and Zephyr.  Our cats are funny.  I like to laugh at them when they move.  When I touch them, I make sure my hands are all slobbery first so I get as much fur on them as I can.

I’m great at sitting up by myself and I can stand with help.  Soon, I’ll surprise them all by walking but I’m not quite ready yet.  I like when my parents take me for walks.  I helped Daddy pick some peppers from our garden…and I picked a marigold for Mama.  Mama took me for a walk after the Fall Equinox and we picked up a bunch of fiery colored leaves.  I liked the crunchy feeling in my hand…and I crushed one into Mama’s chest so she got little leaf pieces down her shirt.  We stopped to touch a big tree on the way.  It was much taller than Daddy and I liked the feeling of the bark.  I really love being outside.  I’ve noticed that sometimes when I get fussy enough, they’ll take me outside.  I’m getting the hang of training them to get what I want.

So far, I’ve gathered that life is all about growing, learning, napping, moving from one place to the next, and making a bunch of noise while demanding quiet.   That about sums it up, right?  Mix in a whole lot of eating, drinking, and excreting waste from what you have eaten and drank…and I’m pretty sure I’m nailing it.

The Birth Journey of Felix Fawkes Kavi

The Birth Journey of Felix Fawkes Kavi

By Felina Lune Kavi

Category:  Recycled Visions
Journal:  Earth Mother
Date:  1-1-15

My Family was as prepared for the journey of my birth as they were ever going to be.  They thought I might come earlier than I had arranged, so by New Year’s Eve, Mama had nested enough for my homecoming and welcomed the beginning of what was to be a long and sleepless night of inner travel.  She felt rested and calm.  She knew to keep the excitement to a minimum to ensure our safety and ease in this endeavor.  Daddy knew as well, though we could both hear the adrenaline in his voice.  This was to be Daddy’s first voyage into the unknown of fatherhood, after all.  Mama and I felt he was doing an excellent job.

I heard the countdown to my birthday, followed soon after by my sister’s laughter as Daddy threw her on the couch.  I hear that is a tradition started by my Grandpa.  It sounded like fun.  When Daddy kissed Mama, I could feel their love radiate through me and I knew they knew I would be here soon.  They decided Alyrica should sleep, though they may have to wake her soon to take us all to the birthing center.  I sent her happy dreams about all of her favorite animals.

Mama and I centered ourselves as her body stretched more and more and the sensations increased.  I could hear her moaning through the pressure waves and Daddy’s voice began reciting hypnosis cues.  “Relax.”  He said calmly…and she went under momentarily. 

We spent a few hours in the bed as Mama rested her body and went to that special place in her mind where we could spend time together…floating in the water and holding me next to her heart.  She would say my name and tell me she was ready for me to come home, and I would coo back at her as she stroked my head upon her chest.  In dreamtime, we washed ashore to our little island and she carried me up a stone staircase.  We stood for a moment at the top of what looked to be a gigantic earthen bowl with a path that spiraled into the center below.  Mama walked down the spiral path with me, singing me a song about the ocean.  When we reached the bottom, there was a large nest in the middle of the circle.  Mama cradled me inside it and we slept.

When she woke up, the pressure waves were stronger and more frequent.  She woke up Daddy gently and told him it was time to get ready to go to the birthing center.  He began gathering our things and woke up my sister.  She was very sleepy.  The whole thing might have been like a dream to her.  Daddy called the midwife to tell her we were coming. 

It was very cold outside, but I was keeping Mama warm.  She walked slowly down the stairs to the car and everyone got inside.  The ride was long and bumpy.  Mama was very uncomfortable, though Daddy was trying to drive smoothly.  Mama listened to a hypnosis CD until they arrived at the birthing center. 

Rachael, our midwife, was already there.  She held the door open and welcomed us into the warmth of the birthing center.  It was 5am and a holiday, so no one else was at the birthing center.  This is how I meant it to be so Mama and I had no distractions. 

Mama got to choose from the two rooms and she chose the purple room.  Purple is her favorite color and it makes her feel calm and balanced.  There was a big bed in the center of the room and a bathroom with a tub.  It made Mama feel at home.  Daddy started setting things up on the bedside table and started some calming music.  He brought brownies and veggies and set them out for everyone.  Mama was hungry and ate broccoli, cauliflower, and bell peppers to keep her strength up and drank a lot of water to keep hydrated.  They got out a birthing ball for her to sit on while breathing through the pressure waves.  Daddy rubbed her back and held her hand while Rachael held her hips. 

In between waves, Mama and Daddy gave Alyrica a Big Sister Basket that had a camera, some snacks, and a shirt with two foxes on it that said ‘Big Sister’.  She wore the shirt proudly and started taking photos of things in the room.  Soon, though, she went into the library to sleep some more while we waited for my birth.

With each successive pressure wave, Mama’s brain waves begin to slow down and she enters into a deep altered state of consciousness.  Her body is still tightening with sensations but her mind is somewhere beyond.  Things are changing rapidly as she shifts into active birthing.  Daddy and Rachael help her walk through the halls of the birthing center to help pull me down.  The rocking motion was comforting to me and moved me to where I needed to be.

As the pressure increased, Mama would stop and hold on to Daddy and focus on moving me down.  In between those times, they would stop and look at the footprints on the wall of all the other babies that had been born there.  Soon they would choose a place on the wall for my footprints.

During this time, Mama was aware of everything around her but she was somewhere else entirely…somewhere closer to me.  Together, we moved to the rhythm of her body like we were dancing.  The music became louder as she moved back into the room to rest. 

At this time, Mama needed Daddy to be with her while she rested in the bed.  She wanted the intimacy of him being there to hold her, comfort her, and rub her back as her body writhed and quaked with our inner travels.  There was a sacred bond there between them that allowed us all to be in tune with each other during this process.  The room seemed to become darker, and everything else besides the two of them fell away.  The shift was palpable as Mama moved into a deeper state.

Daddy whispered encouraging affirmations to her as she entered into this stage of her journey.  He let her know that he was with her.  The transition was intense.  Despite her calm, Mama had a wild look about her.  She was accessing all of her personal power to bring me closer to home. 

Rachael was there, then, to guide her.  She would breathe and moan with her, keeping her voice low and open to encourage Mama to stay calm and open as she came closer to my birthing time.  There were animal-like sounds coming from Mama that Daddy had never heard before.  He was in awe of the powerful process he was witnessing as his wife was bringing his first-born child to him.

Rachael went to wake up Alyrica so she could be present for my birth.  They came back and Alyrica had her camera ready.  Rachael suggested entering the birthing tub.  They helped Mama into the bathroom and Rachael got the bathwater ready as Mama held on to Daddy.  The sound of the water brought her back to that place where she was holding me to her chest, floating in a calm ocean.  Her brainwaves had slowed and deepened more then, and a transformation was happening.  She was receiving a lot of information about me very rapidly and though she wanted to tell Daddy, there were no words to describe it.  She suddenly knew who I was meant to be…she understood my soul and why I had come to them.  As she entered the birthing tub, she felt the waves bringing us closer to the shore.

If she could have formed the words, she would have explained that she had never felt more alive than in these last moments as she was bringing me down the birth canal.  The urge to bear down came soon after.  She was wild-eyed and powerful and became a new woman in that moment.  While she was on one knee in the warm water, I crowned.  Rachael told Daddy he could reach down then and feel my head.  I felt him touch me and I knew I was almost there. 

Mama locked eyes with Daddy then, knowing what she needed to do and knowing that he was there to help her.  She rose up slightly, leaning forward and arching her back…the sounds emanating from her signaled my time to emerge and meet my family. 

The sounds coming from Mama filled the warm air of the room.  Alyrica didn’t recognize Mama in that moment and she couldn’t stay in the room.  She was afraid of what was happening.  Even Daddy admitted later that if it went on any longer than it did, he was afraid Mama couldn’t do it.  But Mama was doing what she was meant to do…the strength of a mother giving birth is nothing short of amazing.  She was not afraid.  In one last push, I entered this world in the loving hands of my Daddy.  And everything was as it should be.

Alyrica came back in then and took some photos.  I cried out to let everyone know I was here.  Daddy placed me on my Mama’s chest and she held me next to her heart, just as she had done in her mind.  We floated in the warm water for a moment, acclimating to the newness of the sensations surrounding us.  Mama’s voice was soothing me as I rested my head upon her.  Daddy’s eyes watered at the sight of me.  He told her how proud he was of her.  We all fell in love.  Our family was complete.

Love at Every Sight

Category:  Recycled Poetry

Journals:  Nest of the Bower Birds/ Earth Mother

Dates:  January 2008/ January 12th, 2015

'I Have Seen'

by Felina Lune Kavi

January 2008

I have seen myself in your eyes

smiling, in love.

I have seen our future

through golden rays shining

on your gray-green seas.

I have fallen deeper

into you, eyes entranced,

than anyone else could fathom.

I have felt you uncontained, pure energy,

in sync with every vibration in me.

I am into you so deep

that I can breathe only you.

'Storyteller'

by Felina Lune Kavi

1-12-2015

Soft skin on my skin,

I watch our son sleep.

I see you, my husband.

I see a rebirth before me.

I am meeting ancestors,

Some of yours for the first time,

All in the gentle breaths of our baby.

When he opens his eyes,

He shows me everything,

Everyone present and past,

Guiding his future.

I wish we could keep the wisdom

With which we are born.

I see it in his eyes.

He gazes at me, then looks just beyond,

Seeing what most lose the ability to see.

He sees me too.

He sees all the past and present

Guiding my future.

He sees himself in me, as in you.

He remembers the story unfolding,

Though he may forget most of it

Before he can tell us.

Pieces of it will catch his consciousness

From time to time…spilling forth.

And we’ll wonder at the weirdness,

And smile about the creativity

Of a son born of two artists…

One of imagery and one of words.

A storyteller is born.