The Little-Girl Trilogy

Category: Recycled Poetry

Journal: Confessions of Her Roaring Twenties

Dates: 2002, 2008, and 2010

little-girl (2002)

by Felina Lune Kavi

i've not felt

so little-girl before,

nor did i harbor thoughts

of endless love...

but in the quickest instant

i must question my existence

as a secret

and a lie

and as a whore.

still i've never felt

this little-girl before...

mostly every time

he pushes me away.

i need to feel his love,

i need him to share my love...

for there's far more of it

than this little-girl can store.

(2008)

once i knew this little-girl before--

wrapped warm with new thoughts,

she simply forgot

she's not a little-girl anymore.

absence makes the heart grow fonder;

absence makes the restless mind wander.

'why' and 'how' and 'what was i thinking'...

suddenly her world is shrinking.

now i know this little-girl again--

selfish and silly,

desperately willing

to be taken as more than a friend.

idealism comes on too strongly;

idealism increases the longing.

she hopes for perfect love and perfect trust...

but it translates into perfect lust.

and now you know this little-girl as well--

she is chaos contained

but she cannot refrain

from the depths of feeling in which she fell.

(2010)

i've come across this little-girl before.

the difference now is she is safe in love.

after innocence lost,

a threshold was crossed--

she married who she endlessly adores.

now i'll always know this little-girl i feel.

she's never to be pushed away again.

although she doesn't show,

wrapped warm with woman's clothes,

she's present in the moments that are real.

still i'm seeing things so little-girl once more.

now a daughter clings to any kind of love.

sharing treats and toys,

holding hands with little-boys--

little-girl lessons can never be ignored.